If you’re anything like the vast majority of humanity, you’ve probably experienced an emotional trigger — something setting you off into anger, frustration or any of a number of other emotional responses. While it’s easy to get caught up in the moment when we trigger, the event itself points to interesting and important information that we can use to effect significant healing. This healing opportunity can have profound effects not only on our general health and well-being, but will radiate outwards to affect all our relationships.
Emotionally speaking, triggers are a subconscious response to some event. Triggers can be subtle or they can be quite powerful, ranging from mild sadness or annoyance to one shaking with rage. How powerfully we experience a trigger is generally related to how disempowered or offended we feel in experiencing the event. By their very nature, emotional triggers are a wholly subjective experience.
So, why are triggers important? Directly, they show you want you don’t want. This information can be really useful in helping us to look inwards and better understand our ‘stuff’ — our internal baggage that gets in the way of having healthful relationships. Our triggers can assist us in understanding what’s going on inside. With that better understanding, we are empowered to create more of what we do want. Once we turn our attention towards consciously creating what we want, we change our emotional outlook from negative to positive.
Examples of our internal baggage might be a fear that we’re not being heard in a conversation or that our viewpoint is not being respected. Triggers that stem from or cause an argument often reflect our personal insecurity within our relationship. These triggers offer an opportunity to study how we feel about ourselves rather than simply blaming others for our unhappiness.
I consider the shift from negative to positive to be one of the most essential building blocks of successful relationships. Any time we’re focusing on negative aspects of our relationships, we output a carrier wave of negative energy that, through the Law of Attraction, draws to it negative interactions. If you’re in a foul frame of mind, anywhere you place your attention will be suffused with your negative carrier wave. Think of your thoughts as being a radio signal being sent from the antenna of your mind. Your emotions are the carrier wave of your life experience.
As we change our outlook towards greater positivity, our carrier wave likewise changes. Thus, any of our personal interactions are bathed in the positivity of our outlook. I’ve experienced the sudden shift in an exchange from argument to cooperation through something as sudden and seemingly insignificant as seeing my partner and suddenly thinking, “Wow, she looks beautiful in this light.” Within seconds, our conversation turns from being confrontational to cooperative.
As we learn to cultivate our observer, we can see triggers coming up from inside our consciousness before we let that carrier wave of emotion flood outwards. In doing so, we can mitigate much of the emotional charge of our interaction and turn what would be negative into a much more positive and beneficial experience for all parties. As we learn to soften our interactions and become more measured in our responses, we can discover the real joy of always having appropriate responses. That, I think, is something to which to aspire.
The next time you feel yourself triggering during an emotionally charged discussion, try to step back from unleashing negativity and look for a way to put on a positive spin. In doing so, you’ll move from destructive/inappropriate responses towards constructive/appropriate ones. With that approach, literally everyone wins.
Much love,
trane
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