One of the more profound things you can figure out in your lifetime is that how you feel is all a matter of choice. This is especially so with regard to happiness versus unhappiness. We may not have a choice over what we experience at the hands of others in a particular moment in time, but how we react to that experience is everything.
Many of us get stuck in a rut of reactivity. We experience events and then we react a certain way, e.g., getting angry, laughing, etc. Most of us are rather unaware of the middle ground of evaluation that takes place. This unawareness causes us to express ourselves in less than empowered fashion. We might say something like, “Your thoughtlessness made me very angry last night.” The problem is that what we stated isn’t what happened. A more correct assessment would be, “I thought you were acting thoughtlessly, so I decided to get angry about it.”
All we can really do is describe our apparent observations. I don’t know for certain that you were being thoughtless. You may have been completely distracted by the meeting at work today where people were told 15% of the staff would be let go before Christmas, but the names weren’t announced, and you haven’t told me of that situation yet. I can imagine all manner of reasons why a person might seemingly “be thoughtless” about some action or another and yet have very good reasons for their behaviour that would, to any sensitive evaluation, not fall under the realm of thoughtlessness.
More importantly, however, is that whether you were thoughtless or not really doesn’t matter. I have a choice of whether I blow it off as nothing, discuss it with you calmly to ensure you understand that my feelings took a bit of a blow, or I can choose to fly off the handle and go totally medieval on you. Those of us on the reacting side like to dress up our choices with justifications of the punishment befitting the crime, etc., but that’s just a smokescreen for the fact that we decided to react poorly.
Choosing to be happy is a huge deal. In fact, it could be the most important decision you ever make in your life. In choosing to be happy, you’ll quite naturally become healthier. Your stress levels will lessen, your sleep will improve, your immune system will function far better and you could even shed some pounds. The simple decision to be happy will rock your world. It’ll also rock the worlds of everything and everybody coming in contact with you.
The vibe of a “positive person” is a very palpable thing. When you choose to let go of the stress and trust that everything’s going to be fine, things definitely lean toward being fine. I have a contract that is to be paid in Euros sometime in the 1st quarter next year. I’m not sweating over the possibility of a monetary meltdown in the EU, regardless of how real that possibility currently is. I know that money flows and that whatever I don’t get now, I’ll get later. And whatever I don’t get now, I obviously either didn’t need, want or allow enough to come to me.
Since I’ve decided to be happy, my life has gone though a near-miraculous path of healing. I’ve truly come to understand that dreams really do come true, and I see mine coming true every day. I don’t think I’ve ever had more fun than I am now.
And it all happened AFTER I decided that I was – and would always remain – happy.